Tuesday, November 8, 2011

you are being warned, post may contain profanity and plain 'ole ickiness....

Hot Damn, its one of those days where I am feeling like I need to get it out, get the lead out, ya know. HOLY SHIT. I don't know where it comes from sometimes but its there and the only thing I can do is get it out, out of my head and onto paper, well, cyber space paper.
I must, I must, I must, I must, dammit, I must write it, I need it out and I need it out now.
I don't like feeling angry, guilt or shame in anyway, it drags me down and I don't have time in my life for feelings that keep me stuck and the only way I know how to deal with them is by writing.
If you are offend then I ask you to please exit this page now. I have some built up emotions that seem to require swearing so if you choose to stick around, know this, it will be full of words that you may not want to read.

Ok guys and gals, here it goes.

Fuckity, fuckity fuckity, (ahhhhhhh, I am feeling a weeeeeeeee bit better) Shit, fiddlesticks, donkey's balls and fucken fuckers.
Why is this in here, why do I have to write this, why I ask, why, dammit Maryann, stop asking and doooooooooooooooooo, you have to get out the muck in there in order to see the beauty, don't stop this until you can feel happy, glad, wonderful and thrilled, ya got it!!
Yeah, yeah yeah, I got it, did  you ever think that maybe, just maybe if you spoke a little nicer, you could get more things accomplished with your life?
Ya know, like asking yourself in kind ways, asking yourself to be gentle, why all the yelling, why all the insisting and sarcastic tones?
Well, its what your used to and well frankly, if YOU, Maryann want it differently, change it, thats right, change your inner voice and the words will come out nicer.

What do you want, do you want this or not? How bad Maryann, how bad do you want to live the life of your dreams, so bad that you know in your being that it will serve you and allow you to live your truth, SO bad that your heart pulls and tugs at every ounce of your dreams?
Do you want it so bad that nothing, I mean nothing will stand in your way?

You have to answer these questions Maryann, you have to put the pen to the paper when asking these questions and you must gal, you must write those answers, truthfully, do not hold back, DO NOT HOLD BACK, give yourself permission, its all good, you know that, you know that this is the way it is supposed to be, do what you KNOW Maryann, do what you know will get you closer to living your dream life.
You are half way there, you already know what to do, if you want it, if you want it so much that you can taste it, that you can feel it in your bones, the cells in your body light up when you think about your dream life, your heart fills with gladness when you dream about your way of life that makes you come alive, when your blood pumps through your body, mind and soul, so pure and fresh that you KNOW this is it, this is exactly what you want.

When you can do this, feel it, really feel it, enjoy those feelings now, NOW, this way, when your haven arrives, you will know without a doubt thats this is it gal, this is your haven, the place you shall call home!!!

So sometimes its just that simple, write about your feelings even if they are angry, sad or whatever they are, there is no reason to harbor these inside.  I just don't always know why I have these feelings but my intuition says write about it, its not for me to judge, to criticize or anything, it just is and you need to write it so you can take back your power.
Thats what I hear, so most days all is super duper, and sometimes, its just okie dokie, on those days my writing is a bit different than on the days I am feeling faboo, its life, I gotta listen to my inner guide.

It just has to be this way, and no way, no how could I dream this up on my own, lol if it were up to me, than I might not put this info out there for the world to see, I might not want to give others the opportunity to read it, make comments on it, judge it etc.... but its not, my inner guide says it doesn't really matter what others think, if they like it great, if they don't, thats great too.
Its what makes the world go round gal, so no worries, it is what it is.

Oh beautiful haven , come out come out wherever you are. I am ready to receive...........................


until next time my happy humans,
tottles,
xoxo
M

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