Wednesday, July 20, 2011

angry......

today I am angry, today I am angry, today I am angry.
Have I said it enough?
Today is one of those days where I am angry with both of you, I am angry because you dont respond.
I dont even know if you can hear me either and it has nothing to do with you not listening.
I dont know if its possible for you to hear me.
So now what, now I have to ask myself the questions, give myself advice and learn on my own.
What made you think it would be okay for both of you to just walk out.
Did you know that you wouldn't be here for me or for anyone else?

Who am I supposed to ask now, who is going to help guide me with all the things I seek guidance for???

Today I am angry because I dont have either one of you and dammit, its not fair.

Its not fair that I cant share things with you anymore, having no mother or mother in law sucks. No grandmother's for my children, who is going to teach them all those wonderful things grandma's share?

Today I am angry and I cant even bitch at you for pissing me off!
Alright, so its not your fault, I know, and bitching at you wouldn't help but damn, I would have liked to make that choice instead of it being made for me.

Today I am angry and I will find a way to relieve this feeling, I don't like being angry with either of you or angry within myself.
When I am angry, gee well, ummmmmmm, there is no room in there for good feelings.

So today I will put aside my anger and find peace knowing that shit happens, people die, people leave and they can come in and out of my life at any moment.

Today I am glad for having known you both for the time I was given with you.

Today I will miss you.
Today there is love in my heart and I hold close to me the memories we shared.

I love you both!

XOXO
M



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