Monday, December 12, 2011

my new book is ready to order................

Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! "Release your Inner Goddess" is ready to order through I am super excited and thoroughly enjoyed writing this book. If you are called to this book, I hope it brings you whatever it is you need my dear!!!!

until next time faboo friends.
love and light
Goddess M

Saturday, December 10, 2011

fear, the deadliest poison.....

i know it can't hurt me, i know its not real, so why am i afraid?
i know without a shadow of a doubt that we must learn from our mistakes, we must fail sometimes before we succeed.
i know i am the key to my success.

knowing all this and yet fear, the deadly poison creeps its way in, finds a tiny hole and lays its egg somewhere deep within my mind.
it incubates and festers, grows and builds upon itself waiting, waiting for just the right moment to hatch.
once it hatches, liquid spills out saturating my brain, covering it with lack, cant's and have not's, worthlessness, scarcity, judgments, harsh comments, messages from my inner critic telling me i am not good enough.

fear is the poison that slowly eats away at our soul, spreading toxin as it feeds on our weakness, but we do not need weakness, we do not need to feed the fear.
we can stop it, we can stop it dead in its tracks.
knowing this, why does it find its way in, fear is persistent, it wants to hold on, it will hang on tightly with its last breath unless WE are ready and willing to get rid of it.
I want the freedom of feeling fearless, how does one achieve this feeling, how does one go about their day without fear of the unknown?
its a learned behavior, its repeating thoughts and words that comfort you, that lift your spirits, that raise your vibration so you can believe in you, believe in your power, know that you are good enough, know that you have whatever it takes to live your dream life.
give in to your goodness, allow yourself permission to be released from fear.
only you can make this happen, no one can do this for you, absolutely no one can remove your fear, its up to you to cast it out of your mind.

writing is my salvation, it is what keeps me sane, what makes me feel whole, complete and alive.
don't get me wrong, my husband, my children, they are my life, they provide me with everything i could ever want, i love them with every ounce of my soul.

but writing, writing makes my stories, (true or not) come to life, it gives them purpose and feeling, it makes me feel good to let the words out, otherwise i go crazy with all the words jumping around in my head, bouncing back and forth, interrupting each other and before you know it, its as if it must be done, i have to write, if i don't, i see pictures in my mind of me poking the side of my head just to let some info out, i can feel my head swelling with so many thoughts and they have to come out, i can't think straight if they stay in, i can't feel good, i can't accomplish anything on my to do list, its a driving force that says honey, if you don't write, you are screwed, your day will be a mess, you will feel guilty for not following your heart, you will feel shame for doing things that do not serve you, you will feel sad for silencing your inner goddess.

with that i say, okie dokie pokey, write i will do, i want to feel happy.

so where does this fear come from, why was i given this feeling when i was a young child, why do we pass this on to our children, what makes us think its okay to push our fears onto those we love?
we do not have that right, we do not have permission to teach fear to others, its serves no one, no one benefits from fear.
i am not at all saying do not be cautious, by all means baby, use caution, but its different.
for example, i am afraid of driving, not all the time, but there are times when it wants me to be afraid to drive.
if i allow this fear to win, then i go nowhere without someone else driving.
it starts out like this:
i do not want to drive, what happens if i get into an accident, what happens if i get lost, what happens if i do not get in the right lane, what happens if the car breaks down?
okay, thats it in a nutshell.
lets answer those questions,
if i know the road rules, if i follow the road rules, thats all i can do, that doesn't mean someone else wont follow the road rules, it just means i will, therefor i may or may not get into an accident but thinking i might just may be the ticket to keeping me from driving, and how fair is that, is it fair of me to rob myself the freedom of getting in a car and going somewhere, nope, its not.

Fear gets in our way and holds us back. We can't allow this to keep us from living our souls purpose its time my friends to take our power back!!!!!!
Positive thoughts, affirmations, writing, creating art, meditating, therapy, counseling, whatever it takes deary to get rid of fear is what needs to be done, we want to live our life to the fullest!!!  CHECK BACK later for ecourses and more on how to "get rid of fear and keep it out"

believe them the first time..................

holy holy macaroni,

believe them, without doubt, without judgment, without hoping, thinking just maybe, or what if they just might, nopers, believe them, believe them the first time.

Good or bad, it makes no difference, people are who they are, thats it, bottom line, they decide whats right for them, whats wrong for them and how they see the world so when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time, then there is no worries about it, such as:
are ya kidding me, ya did this again, yeah, they did, and they let you know in the past they would and they are letting you know that in the future, they are who they are and will do it again!

I know there are some who will read this and get angry, it happens, my intention for writing this is to clear the air for me and to gain clarity into this situation so that I KNOW it happens, its okay, I can move on from here, and if in the future you encounter someone who has already shown you who they are, accept them without judgment.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

good morning, good morning, good morning

Well hello there happy humans~
Today I am making a list of things I want.

I want a,
button/badge maker
spiral binding machine
queen size sheets
full size sheets
twin size sheets
ink for my printer
and for now I think thats it.
how about you my dear, what do you want on this fine morning, please do tell, set your intention for the day and ask for the things you want, remember to believe you deserve these things and they will show up right before your eyes!!!
Happy manifesting!!!

until next time happy humans,

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

finally i got it...............

now you can enter your email to get a new blog post every time i update my blog, woooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo!!!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

how cool is this..........


this is total total total total total total total total total total total total BULLSHIT! what the freaken ravioli is going on?????????????????????????? its like my mind says whoa baby, ain't gonna cooperate with you today honey! okay, i get it, sometimes you need a break but c'mon, this is the 4th time this week you are doing this, what are you doing this for, you know there is stuff that needs to come out, so what do you want me to do, dishes, vacuum, dust, laundry, cook, walk, drink, sleep, ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, HELLO, i wanna write dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, November 11, 2011

and do remember this

its an epic day my friends, did you set your intention on this magical happy day?
my intention is this.......................
i am ready to receive my glorious gifts of abundance and prosperity, much happiness, good health and good fortune, clarity and wisdom.

its your turn darling.......................



i wonder......................... what is it?

i found this super website, you must check it out

here it is I mean really, its faboo, Its called "The receiving project" i mean who knew eh? She summed it all up and presented it in this loving wonderful way!!!
If you want to receive glorious gifts from the universe and you are ready to receive, holy shasta, check her out, its FREE, yeah, I know, I could hardly believe it myself, it flippin FREE, go take a look, seriously, I am super excited about doing this and perhaps you too will find that its just what you need and as i always say, if its not what you need, no problemo, its all gooooooooooooood!

It is my intention to receive gifts of kindness from the Universe.
(lookout baby, they are rollin in), hey, who said that, was it you, ohhhhhhhhh, wait, silly me, that was the Universe talking to me, ooooooooooolala, here come the gifts, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

love ya,
M (who got alittle carried way with the links to her site, lol)
My epic wish for 11/11/11 at 11:11 is for abundance & prosperity for me & my family. That we all live to our 90's & good health, much wealth & wisdom.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

as i reach for the golden rod.....

my inuition never lets me down, is always there to guide me, to provide me with answers I need and then every once in awhile it tells me to do something and whammo bammo, I haven't a clue as to why, just this nudge,and if I don't do what it asks, i get a push, and if I still do not do what I am asked to do by my lovely inner goddess venus, she flippin shoves me, a freaken full on total shove and says, hey woman, yep, I am talkin to you, lets get a move on, life is a waiting and its ain't gonna wait forever, ya gotta grab it while the grabbin is good and just do this that i ask, soooooooooooooooooooo i must, ya see if i don't, who knows, she might conk me on the head or make me take a cold shower to wake me up, i don't know, but i do know this, i don't wanna find out what she would do if i don't take the nudge then the push and now the shove seriously.

honestly i have no idea where this is going, why i was supposed to write as i reach for the golden rod, no clue, nada, zippo, nothin, but here goes it......................

as i reach for the golden rod, my heart open, my soul ready, my mind accepting and my body willing, I am ready to receive that which you offer me.....

wow, my inner goddess is good, that sounds really profound, guess she know what she is talkin about, alright, i was just told not to interrupt her, she needs to finish this......

i ask you milady to hold out your hand, to give to thee your time, your energy and your love.
i ask you to give of yourself that which you may know nothing of.
do you want this sweet darling, do you want to be given the gift?
are you aware that i may ask you to trust in me like never before, that i may ask you to do things that you may fear?
share with others your stories of hope, sadness and more.
will you do this without question, without judgement and without knowing how this will happen?

i take your hand and offer you my heart and soul, surrender to you my wisdom and blanket you with kindness.
i ask that you follow me, walk with me, laugh with me and cry with me, i ask that you do this so you can see without your eyes, but to see with your heart and fill your being with true love..............
(i meaning me not my inner goddess don't even know if that makes any sense but i am told its not up to me to make sense of it, just do it, well, whatever, it makes my life easier if she is doing the writing anyway, less i gotta think about, so more time for playin, at least for today, some days I like to do the writing but hey, sharing is a good thing)

i guess miss goddess venus is done, personally i am drawing a blank which means thats it, i'm yawning sooooooooo until she wants to speak again my dear, i gotta go find somehting else to do, toooooooooooooooooooot a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I am woman, hear me raw............................

I know, you thought it would say I am woman, hear me roar, nopers, its raw.
Why, because my writing is from my womanly perspective and its raw, straight from my core, no holds barred. No cleaning it up, no sugar coating it, its my words how they run through my mind and flow onto paper.

The only way I feel free is to let it out, how I feel, what I see, how it affects me, how it changes me, makes me grow, learning from it, all the juicy good stuff that makes me who I am. If you like it, good, if you don't, thats good too, we don't all want to agree, that would be quite boring.

Most of all, my writing helps me, and my hope is that it helps you too, whatever it is you need from it, whether it be to read it and find your own path or the meaning of something, etc.... but maybe it will help you by saying, no way, I am outta here, where is the delete key, its all good because if you need it or don't need it then my mission is complete, it helped you in some way.
Whether you sit back and enjoy this blog or run for the hills to find something else, its all good darling!

So what do we talk about now, whats on my mind?

One thing that is on my mind today is....................
Whats on your mind honey?
What are doing today?
What makes you tick?
What makes you come alive and light your fire?

Oh please do tell, share with me your hopes and dreams, your goals and desires, tell me so I can enjoy your words, thoughts, prayers etc.......... I want to read all about your beautiful gorgeous life, your succulent stories of excitement and joy, oh the suspense my dear is killing me, please do tell.................................

While I am waiting for you to spill your sexy words onto my virtual paper, I will continue writing for me.................

and there she sat, across the room, waiting, wanting, imagining what may happen when she sees it, when she feels it, when she tastes it as it brushes across her lips, when it pulses through her body, when her bones are rich with desire for the very essence of his soul...... (wow, that seems a bit racy, lol)
(oh well, I am going with it)

she wants him, she wants him like no other, to taste him, to feel his body against hers and to know that he wants her too, it is what she ached for, the longing for him to hold and caress her is over.

he is next to her, her flesh against his, their heart's beating as one, the scent of their essence as it fills the air and transforms the moment into heated passion.

the sweat that drips from their naked bodies, their mouths open wanting to kiss.
but the kissing stops, something happens as the moments pass and everything is heightened, the sensitivity becomes so intense and she wants it, she hungers for it like never before, its euphoric, the bliss that enters her mind as she imagines what she may do next.......
and then it happens, she grabs his head, slowly turns to expose his neck and without another thought, she bites, his body in a frenzy as he moans and gives her that which she ached for, that which she craved for so long, she drinks, it pulsates and throbs as it fills her soul, she feasts upon his being as it satisfies her hunger, he claws her back, she pulls her head back to let out a groan, a groan so deep from within its as if she felt ecstasy flow through her veins.

so, thats what was just running through my mind, and that my friend is how a vampire does it, just like that!

so sometimes I write about things I experience, other times I write what others may call fiction, but is it, is it fiction, perhaps it is, perhaps it isn't, maybe just maybe in my past life I was a vampire, or maybe I just like to think so or maybe, just maybe its my imagination and all in my head. I may never know whether the above story is true or not.................................

i found it......................

I found the reason for all this ick and muck!!!!!!!!! Pain, pain is what makes it possible for me to write, to take my pain or the pain I see in others and transform into my words, words that I can spill out onto the pages of my journals, the stories I write, the words that seem to fly out of my head and onto the computer screen. Pain is a necessary part of life, we can choose happiness, but pain, it happens whether we want it too or not. Doesn't mean we can find ways of dealing with it so we feel better, it just means it happens, people get sick, hurt, die, leave and what we do with that pain is up to us. For me, writing about it helps, telling others how I feel about it, or just putting it down and feeling those feelings while getting it out of my head. I am just not able to store all that up and walk about trying to get on with my days, it won't happen, for me it needs to come out.

This is not to say that I don't write about happy moments, I do, all the time, but the pain I have felt or experienced in some way allows me to transform my words into something richer, deeper and with passion. Out of this I have the desire to help others find their calling, share with them that they too have a light that burns brightly within themselves and they too have the right to claim it, stand tall, be yourself, allow yourself permission to be free from whatever is holding you back.

We all do our best, regardless of what it may look like to you, to me and anyone else that may cast judgement, if we thought it was wrong, we would do something else, which leads me to justification...................

Justification, is it really better than sex?
Well, my answer to that is...............................

Think about it, you do something you know is wrong, you know it isn't beneficial to you, to your family, friends etc.... but you do it anyway, you find a way to make yourself feel ok with that choice, you justify it, like it's going to change it or something, as if its going to change in your mind that it actually is ok, it isn't, you are not fooling yourself or anyone else.
It's an excuse you declare to say, "Hey, I am doing this knowing I shouldn't be but its all good, I have the right because I deserve XYZ" Bullshit, its total bullshit, you do not have any special rights to go against your own belief system, seriously, you are trying with all your power to convince yourself of a bullshit story, it ain't happening baby, it ain't, you won't believe it now, you won't believe it later.

It seeps into your core, lays its poison and harbors there, as the minutes, hours and days of your life go by, the poison grows, the hole it creates in you becomes a bigger more toxic mass than you know and it will not stop, it will not stop growing until you take responsibility and say........
WHOA, thats enough, I can not, I will not stand for this any longer, I am who I am, I have the power to be me and the very best me I can be, I will be free of my own judgements, I am setting myself free of the lies I have told myself in order to think I am getting through this or past this.
Enough already, I did it, it happened, its done, I am healing and I am free!!!

Lets look for those lovely little examples. Someone says something to me that I believe is offensive so I begin to tell myself this story....
Who are they to tell me I am an ass, I mean really, who the hell do they think they are, they don't know me, they  haven't lived my life, ya know what, fuck them, they can kiss my ass.

Alright, story in my head is complete, so I say to this person who I believe wronged me and say,
"Screw you, you can go pound sand and if you ever talk to me like that again, you will be sorry"
Wow, talk about angry right?
I go on about my day and yet this lingers inside, it festers while I think about what this person said to me, all day, it consumes me about how I am NOT what they said I was.
Well, whatever someone calls you, tells you who or what they think you are, there ain't no proving them wrong honey, they formed their belief and they will tell you that you are whatever they think you are, they will try to prove to you that you are an ass, idiot, piss ant etc... and YOU will fight them on this, trying with all your might to prove them wrong, and guess what, while fighting them all you are doing is validating to them just how much of an ass you really are.

Now, where did that get you, absolutely nowhere,  not anywhere forward anyway, a bit back it gets you because you now react and respond to people from a place of anger, hurt and sadness.

Perhaps the person that confronted you just came from a place where they were abused, afraid to tell someone that their home is an unsafe place to be and they do not know how to escape the abuse? Would you then respond in the same manner, most of us I believe would say no. Most of us would then feel bad for that person and want to help.
So why is it if we do not know the person's circumstance that we can justify reacting and responding negatively, that is just plain ole shitty!

Let's try this too, what if we do know, we do know that this person lives in an abusive home.
We then choose, "well ya know what, thats just too bad, its their own fault if they stay there, just because someone treats them badly doesn't mean they have the right to treat others badly?"

Wow, do you see this, we are thinking no matter what  that person endured it does not give them the right to rain on our parade, ok, lets say thats true BUT then what gives us the right, what gives us the right to turn around (after being angry with this person) and saying, "screw you" did we not just rain on their parade, ummmmm, I think we did honey, we did.
So even though we tell ourselves that they do no not have a right to shit on us, we go right back and shit on them, we just became the very thing we complained about, holy cow eh?

If we want better, we must do better, if we want to feel good, we must feel good, if we want others to be kind to us, we must be kind to them, if we want to be loved, we must love ourselves first.

Lets try this on for size, what about unhealthy food, ya know how we tell ourselves I am hungry, I don't have time to cook, I deserve it fast food, its cheap etc.....
What are we really saying to our self, that we deserve to eat crappy food at any cost???
We actually take the time to give ourselves a reason as to why we should treat our bodies as though they are disposable, as if we have an extra body laying around and can just put that one on when we destroy the one we are in???
NO! We deserve to give our bodies the proper fuel, the proper nutrition so that it can work in harmony with our mind, that is what our body deserves, to be loved and treated with kindness.

How about these, wasting money on things we do not need or we just wanted in that moment, what happens then when we run short for our bills, our kids school clothes, medicines to fix the bodies that we fed unhealthy food too?
 We justify that too, we worked hard, we deserve it, we made extra money, talk about a bullshit lie, extra money, who the fuck has extra money, I don't care how much money you make, how much money is in your bank account, NO ONE absolutely NO ONE has any extra money lieing around, we use it all up.
Our extra money just gave us a reason to spend it on something we did not need and now we have more junk and less money.

What about booze, how we tell ourselves we deserve that booze because we worked long and hard, many hours, now we are tired and just need to relax, go relax, you need 6 damn beers, 4 glasses of wine, NOPE, you just THINK you do. What your body is telling you is....
"honey, we worked hard today, lets go home, sit on the couch, reflect on our day and be thankful we are here one more day to live our truth" at least that is what I BELIEVE our bodies are saying.,
It does not NOW or EVER tell us to go home, drink, eat and smoke and ingest poison so we can feel like shit later, kill ourselves slowly and wake up feeling ungrateful and angry.

What about this, BLAME, oh this has to be the very best one, I mean really, we blame everything on everyone else, talk about fucked up???
It's your fault I am broke, its your fault I am fat, its your fault I don't have a good job, its your fault my life sucks, blah blah blah.
Its not anyone's fault, you are in this position because of YOUR choices, every single one of your choices put you here.
Sure, you may be in a toxic relationship, ready to file bankruptcy, overweight, but YOU made the choices to continue on that path, I mean unless someone was holding you hostage, held you down and made you eat, drink, spend your money or stay where you are, its your choice.
Its not to say I don't have compassion for those that are in a place where they are not happy, I do, oh my goodness I do. I say this because I WANT YOU to know that YOU can make a conscious choice to GET OUT of this unhappy, unhealthy feeling that keeps you down. YOU can change all this, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL!!! You deserve just as much as the next guy/gal, you deserve it all too honey!!!

You can claim it, right now, you can take back your power and find peace within yourself, no matter what your circumstance, no matter what your life experience, no matter what you did, said, ate, drank, smoked or believed. You can have it all baby, all of it is here for you, for you, and you, and you and you and you. The world is full and plenty, abundance, prosperity, good fortune, love, happiness, its here now and its ready for you to call it your own.
No reason to be angry or sad about your choices that got you here, its what makes you beautiful, forgive yourself, forgive others, set yourself free and set those free that you have held judgements against, it really is okay to let it go and find your passion, live your life to the fullest and live life knowing that you are a MIRACLE!

We justify everything, whether we think its good, bad whatever. Just like this post, (which makes me drive in circles, not the post but the whole justification thing lol)
You can tell me I am right or wrong, it doesn't matter, I will tell you why I think I am right, why I know it is this way. It don't matter honey, I'll justify it so that it sits and feels right in my mind.
Just as you will justify why you agree or disagree with me, and its what makes us human, justification is part of our DNA. My thought is this, I want to feel good within my very core, deep within my soul, in every cell of my being therefor I will use justification for good, to tell myself why I believe I am worthy, why I believe I am the key to my success, why I know that we all matter, that we all deserve love and kindness, why I know that a few kind words can make someone's day a little brighter and how I know that a few unkind words can hurt someone deeply and spread negativity like wildfire.

So in then end my dear, justification, is it really better than sex?        ...................... you decide


1.  to show (an act, claim, statement, etc.) to be just or right:

a. to show a satisfactory reason or excuse for something done.


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

day 2 of swearing and not knowing what to write

DAMMIT, thats it, that is what comes to mind, Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm Venus honey, where are you, you are supposed to be helping me write ya know?

What the hexagon is going on? I don't know what to say, I am hearing nothing and I know, dammit, I know there is things I need to get out of my head.

Its like I got this: little boy walks in the woods, trips and falls in a hole, yells for mama, she comes and saves him, yahooooo, everything works out fantastic.
Okay, next story, little girl makes a mud pie, bakes it in the sun, turns out its not as tasty as she thought, no big deal, she finds something else to do.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! where the hell are the words???????????????

Well, screw you and fuck off fucken piss ants, thats about how I feel right now, I wanna write but I am not getting anything that seems to be making any sense, well unless this jibber jabber makes sense, who knows, maybe it does.

I gotta find some inspiration to spark something here, its driving me batty.............................

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

it seems the cursing does not want to stop

fuckers, fuckers, fuckers, bwah hahahahahaha
I am feelin a bit out of whack still, its been going on since this morning, eeeeeeeeeeeee gads, fooey and cowabunga, its all good, I know this, but for some reason, inner guide, says, fuckers like a thousand times today. yeah, shit and damn, and prick also come to mind, so thats it folks, I am naming my inner guide, hmmmmmmmmm, what shall her name be: Venus, its what my mother was going to name me so hey, it fits.
So from now on, most of what I write, well it will be the words and wisdom from Venus!!!

Yay, now I gotta get me a cup of joe, later baby.

you are being warned, post may contain profanity and plain 'ole ickiness....

Hot Damn, its one of those days where I am feeling like I need to get it out, get the lead out, ya know. HOLY SHIT. I don't know where it comes from sometimes but its there and the only thing I can do is get it out, out of my head and onto paper, well, cyber space paper.
I must, I must, I must, I must, dammit, I must write it, I need it out and I need it out now.
I don't like feeling angry, guilt or shame in anyway, it drags me down and I don't have time in my life for feelings that keep me stuck and the only way I know how to deal with them is by writing.
If you are offend then I ask you to please exit this page now. I have some built up emotions that seem to require swearing so if you choose to stick around, know this, it will be full of words that you may not want to read.

Ok guys and gals, here it goes.

Fuckity, fuckity fuckity, (ahhhhhhh, I am feeling a weeeeeeeee bit better) Shit, fiddlesticks, donkey's balls and fucken fuckers.
Why is this in here, why do I have to write this, why I ask, why, dammit Maryann, stop asking and doooooooooooooooooo, you have to get out the muck in there in order to see the beauty, don't stop this until you can feel happy, glad, wonderful and thrilled, ya got it!!
Yeah, yeah yeah, I got it, did  you ever think that maybe, just maybe if you spoke a little nicer, you could get more things accomplished with your life?
Ya know, like asking yourself in kind ways, asking yourself to be gentle, why all the yelling, why all the insisting and sarcastic tones?
Well, its what your used to and well frankly, if YOU, Maryann want it differently, change it, thats right, change your inner voice and the words will come out nicer.

What do you want, do you want this or not? How bad Maryann, how bad do you want to live the life of your dreams, so bad that you know in your being that it will serve you and allow you to live your truth, SO bad that your heart pulls and tugs at every ounce of your dreams?
Do you want it so bad that nothing, I mean nothing will stand in your way?

You have to answer these questions Maryann, you have to put the pen to the paper when asking these questions and you must gal, you must write those answers, truthfully, do not hold back, DO NOT HOLD BACK, give yourself permission, its all good, you know that, you know that this is the way it is supposed to be, do what you KNOW Maryann, do what you know will get you closer to living your dream life.
You are half way there, you already know what to do, if you want it, if you want it so much that you can taste it, that you can feel it in your bones, the cells in your body light up when you think about your dream life, your heart fills with gladness when you dream about your way of life that makes you come alive, when your blood pumps through your body, mind and soul, so pure and fresh that you KNOW this is it, this is exactly what you want.

When you can do this, feel it, really feel it, enjoy those feelings now, NOW, this way, when your haven arrives, you will know without a doubt thats this is it gal, this is your haven, the place you shall call home!!!

So sometimes its just that simple, write about your feelings even if they are angry, sad or whatever they are, there is no reason to harbor these inside.  I just don't always know why I have these feelings but my intuition says write about it, its not for me to judge, to criticize or anything, it just is and you need to write it so you can take back your power.
Thats what I hear, so most days all is super duper, and sometimes, its just okie dokie, on those days my writing is a bit different than on the days I am feeling faboo, its life, I gotta listen to my inner guide.

It just has to be this way, and no way, no how could I dream this up on my own, lol if it were up to me, than I might not put this info out there for the world to see, I might not want to give others the opportunity to read it, make comments on it, judge it etc.... but its not, my inner guide says it doesn't really matter what others think, if they like it great, if they don't, thats great too.
Its what makes the world go round gal, so no worries, it is what it is.

Oh beautiful haven , come out come out wherever you are. I am ready to receive...........................

until next time my happy humans,

Sunday, November 6, 2011

And with that i say..... Bloom where you are planted. xoxo
Out of the muck grow a beautiful lotus....
I was wondering why I might be feeling a little funky. I figured it out, its all good! <3 xoxo M

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Monday, October 31, 2011

There is something special in the air when we have no electric. A nice, calm stillness. It makes meditating and going within, a breeze!!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Hi Maryann, you called. Yes i did. I want to hear your words of wisdom. Oh, this is gonna be yummy. I want you to take 1 minute a day to get quiet & go within.
Its time to show up and take back your power to live your life, your way!!!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

love love love love love you

yeppers, this means you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you!!!!!! Just wanted to let ya know!!!!

until we meet again happy humans,

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


I just experienced the most beautiful and terrifying moment.

I went into my bedroom to get dressed after my shower. My stomach was hurting and I felt nauseous.
I got dressed and figured it will pass.
I was brushing my teeth and all of a sudden I felt the urge to vomit (now this happens sometimes because I have post nasal drip often and it gags me while brusing my teeth, I know, its probably more info than you wanted, lol ) since I had felt like this before I thought nothing of it until.....................
I could no longer brush my teeth and began to vomit, retching like never before.
As this was happening I heard tis little voice say its okay, go with it, relax and breath through this, of course I thought, holy cow, now is not the time to go crazy, then................

I started to feel better eventhough I was still vomiting.
Again, I hear this little voice say, "let the healing begin",
c'mon really I am thinking, what is going on, let the healing begin, seriously, now what is going on here????
So many questios I was pondering and it hit me,
this is it, this is the AHA moment I was waiting for, I immediately felt free, lighter, (less weighted down) and relieved.

I was in awe of this feeling, the light that poured into my body was amazing, it was totally comforting and then I kept hearing this little voice speak to me.

It was saying, see Maryann, thats it, thats all you had to do, you needed to let the poison out completely, anger, sadness and all the fear had to go, I tried so many ways for you to see this and yet you didn't, I figured well, perhaps she actually needs to physically let out the toxic energy that was poisoning her with an action she is familiar with. (and really, we have all vomited before, lol so if ya ask me, that little voice was onto something here)

And it worked says the little voice, it worked, you finally are free, you let it out Maryann.
Now you can shhhhine your light all the time, now you can fill your souls purpose and learn, grow, prosper and share your unique gifts and talents with the world!!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeha, I feel so good, incredible, fantastic, elated and FREE to be me!!!!

I am still blown away by this, lol I am telling ya, its like every cell in my body is alive, awake and tingly and all feeling happy and full of love!!!!

until next time happy humans,

love and kisses,
sparkles and glitter,
cuddles and hugs,

Monday, October 3, 2011

Worlds Biggest Summit

 I am participating in the "Worlds Biggest Summit", it amazing, you should give it a listen. You will learn so many wonderful things about yourself!!
Thank you Goddess Leonie for sharing and doing the "Worlds Biggest Summit" with the world!!!


huggle wuggles and extra sparkles for you......................

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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

this just might be it

this just might be my last post on this blog. I have started a new one and I haven't decided if I will keep posting here. I will however share my new blog addy shortly.
stay tuned for an update.......


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Saturday, August 13, 2011

to the right

yeah, read that --------------------------------------------->

totally awesome right?!

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it happens when I want it too and other times yeah, not at all wanting too!

Whats up with that eh?

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P.S. this counts ya know!

ummmmmmmmmmmmm yeah.....

so much for everyday. I think it has been 2 days but maybe 3.
Okay new list, however that will wait till tomorrow!

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just checked and its only been 2 days.
Tomorrow is another day....

Thursday, August 11, 2011

to write everyday.....

whether alittle or alot, its happening!

first things first, uggggggggggg, funerals suck!!

which leads me to,
"things that are not my friends"

teeny tiny sharp thingy's unseen to the naked eye, left on the floor for bare feet to find.

cat vomit mysteriously appearing and strategically placed on the floor only to be found in the middle of the night once it has been stepped on.

effin fleas, man, is there anything worse, do not come into my house, stay off of my animals, go back to where you came from, NOOOOOOO, I am not kidding, you are not welcome here thank you very much! ( i mean seriously, did you really think you could hop on my dog, take up residence and stay here, bye bye sucka)

thousand legger creepy crawlers that think it is completely okay to scurry across the floor, ummmmmm nooooooooo, marvin k mooney, please go home!!!

EMPTY TOILET PAPER ROLLS! C'mon, really, are you effin kiddin me, you are just gonna sit there all cardboardy and not refill, I mean what the hell, ya know, if you keep doing this to me, sooner or later cardboard, i just might use you and then what, huh, then what, your not gonna be all cozy and nice sitting in the garbage can all clean and dry, yeah, what do you think of that???

okay, sooooooooo, things are are my friends, well,
all the things that don't irritate me, and on this day, its lookin kinda like I might have to revise this list!!!!

until next time happy humans,
big love to ya!

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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

“I am receiving an expansion of more prosperity and joy.”

Yay! Isn't time we all felt this way, of course it is. Now its your turn!!!!
I can hardly believe I am going to be 41 on Sunday. (I wonder if I might feel alittle bit older come Sunday??? nahhhhhhh, I will still feel 25, lol)
I am excited for all things great and wonderful to come my way and i am looking forward to living and creating in our new house!!!

Things always work out and its never as bad as we think it is or will be so I send you with this....

Remember, its up to you to feel happy and at peace, its up to you to know you are good enough and are capable of anything you wish!!!

You are just what the worlds needs!!!


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Wednesday, July 20, 2011


today I am angry, today I am angry, today I am angry.
Have I said it enough?
Today is one of those days where I am angry with both of you, I am angry because you dont respond.
I dont even know if you can hear me either and it has nothing to do with you not listening.
I dont know if its possible for you to hear me.
So now what, now I have to ask myself the questions, give myself advice and learn on my own.
What made you think it would be okay for both of you to just walk out.
Did you know that you wouldn't be here for me or for anyone else?

Who am I supposed to ask now, who is going to help guide me with all the things I seek guidance for???

Today I am angry because I dont have either one of you and dammit, its not fair.

Its not fair that I cant share things with you anymore, having no mother or mother in law sucks. No grandmother's for my children, who is going to teach them all those wonderful things grandma's share?

Today I am angry and I cant even bitch at you for pissing me off!
Alright, so its not your fault, I know, and bitching at you wouldn't help but damn, I would have liked to make that choice instead of it being made for me.

Today I am angry and I will find a way to relieve this feeling, I don't like being angry with either of you or angry within myself.
When I am angry, gee well, ummmmmmm, there is no room in there for good feelings.

So today I will put aside my anger and find peace knowing that shit happens, people die, people leave and they can come in and out of my life at any moment.

Today I am glad for having known you both for the time I was given with you.

Today I will miss you.
Today there is love in my heart and I hold close to me the memories we shared.

I love you both!


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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

baby steps

that's all it takes to get you where you need to go.
one baby step at a time.....


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Sunday, June 26, 2011

oh little cottage in the woods...... I call to you......

We want to move out of our home and move into the country, at least it would be the country to us. Apparently around our neck of the woods living the country life is quite different than what we have heard however, this no matter to us!
we want to live in a 3 bedroom 2 bath country style cottage, a farmhouse perhaps, a nice ranch, or whatever kind of house is placed on a little bit of land, perhaps an acre, some of it wooded, for our adventures of course.
We haven't found it yet, or shall I say, it hasn't found us yet???

Where is this place we want to call home, I ask that you help us find our way to you. While out driving maybe you will have a sign out in your yard with a phone number, or maybe while searching the web you will have an add placed in just the right place for us to find.

Whatever way you choose to lead us to our front door is fine by me, just let me know of course by some kind of signal.

okie dokie pokey! I will be on the lookout.

P.S. I also ask that you give us this signal really soon, we are planning our move August 2011, anytime in August is fine but we want to be out by the end of August. Oh ummmmmmmmm yeah, FYI, we will be out of here by the end of August so get crack a lackin and I too will search for you!!!!

until we meet, see ya later,

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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

so here it is May already

my oh my, May is here and is flying by.
I feel as though the months have passed me and I have yet to accomplish the things on my list.
What is that all about?
Why do I stop doing the things i want to do?
Why do I let myself get and stay stuck?
Crazy crazy stuff, I tell ya, there isn't anyone in this world that can lift us up or bring us down better than we can do it to ourselves.

Its not my fault, its not your fault, its just what we have learned to do and no one, I repeat, no one can change this for us, it doesn't matter, what we read, what we do, what we even tell ourselves until we are ready to take action.
Take the action to move ourselves forward, to lift us up, to find the light in each of us that so much wants to shine.
I say to you, to me and to everyone else that needs to hear this info.
You are wonderful, beautiful, unique and precious to this world.
You deserve all the happiness that life has to offer and you deserve to have all that you want.
Its time to forget about what could have been and get moving on what is....
And, what is for you and me is different, we are all on our way we just get there in different paths.

So i say to you, have a glorious, have yourself tons of fun, oodles of love and loads of laugh to take you where you need to go.

Until next time happy humans,

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Monday, April 18, 2011

writing, reading and everything in between

i am still working on my book, its getting there but at times i stop, i stop writing because that little demon that tells me its not the right time holds me back!
who am i to say if its the right time, i mean it feels right but the inner critic disagrees.

plus, the fear of releasing this info out into the word just scares me, do i share this info for others to read and judge, to say hey wait a minute, why would you tell this story???

how do i share a story with the world without that fear???

answer: ummmmmmmmmmmmmm, i don't know!!!!

soooooooo, that leads me tooooo, i just gotta do it, thats it, bottom line, finish it, finish writing it maryann, then publish and release!

phew, that was easy, back to the book my friends!!!


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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Happy Tuesday!

Happy Tuesday!

Howdy pretty people,

today is a glorious day
today is absolutely perfect
today is precious
today is right now
today will be gone tomorrow
today you matter
today you can make a difference
today you can save a life
today you can make someone smile
today you can transform
today you are living your dream life
today you are beautiful
today you are doing your best
today is the day to forgive
today is the day to love
today is the day for all things possible
today is the day your dreams come true
today is the day you live your life to the fullest
today is the day that you own your truth
today will never happen again
so make today count

live in the moment, live in peace, live in love and most of all, live in happiness.

toot a loooooooooooooooooooooo faboo friends!!!
I hope you are filled with oodles of beary big love!!!


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