Sunday, February 28, 2010

soap ice cream bars

my latest creation, I love them and they smell scrum diddly umshis!
I am on a mission to make all kinds of flavored soap pops!!! Soon you will find them listed on my etsy site

back to wrapping soap pops

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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

its been 25 days since...

I have heard your voice.
I miss you so much. Mark and I stop in at your place and it just doesn't seem right, as if we are waiting for you to come down the steps and start chatting.

The only words that come to mind still are "this sucks". We just weren't ready for you to go. I wasn't ready to lose you.
I want to talk to you and hear you answer. This talking to you cuz your somewhere out there doesn't cut it for me. Don't get me wrong, I love the memories we have with you but right now it just doesn't feel like enough.

How does someone let go of someone they care about?
At times I feel like a little kid cuz I just wanna yell and scream that it isn't fair, that I want to see you, that you promised you would be around.
I know, I know, this is the way life is, I have to accept it and I guess that is where I am struggling. I thought losing my mom was the worst thing in the world and now here I sit and feel those same feelings, like I was robbed, my family was robbed, how do I figure this out?

I guess it just takes time.

Love and miss you so much,

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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I wanted you to know...

Dear Pat, (or as I have been calling you lately, Mom)

First I want to tell you that "this sucks"
We all feel robbed and just a bit lost at the moment.
I know you are where you are because of your belief's and for that, I am happy.

I want you to know that although it was a very tough road for us to get where we were, I am thankful it finally happened for us.
Do I wish there was more time, you bet, I was just getting to know.

I am glad we were together on Saturday and we had a bunch of laughs and lots of fun playing bingo.
Never did I think it would be the last time I would ever see you.
There will be no more surprising you guys for lunch, which by the way, Mark and I enjoyed ALOT!
We loved coming to see you guys just to come and chat while Mark snacked on pretzels and searched all over for candy.
He misses you so much already. I know he too is glad that everything finally came together and we became a family as are our kids, they love you both so very much!

I guess right now I am just angry and sad because we had lots more we wanted to do with you guys.
Who is going to help me with council stuff, (ya know, meeting times and what's going on where)
who is gonna fill me in about life things and yell at me when I need some guidance, who am I gonna call when I don't know the answer to Mom stuff?
Who is gonna listen to me when I am bitching about stuff that bothers me?
Who is gonna edit my books for me?
Who is gonna make spritz cookies for us after struggling with that darn spritzer?
Who's house are we gonna storm into with our kids for a last minute dinner?
Dammit Pat, I am mad, I wish you wouldn't have left!
I know, there is nothing that can be done about it and I know these are all selfish things that I am upset about, but as I mentioned in the beginning, this sucks!

Just know this, I love you and I am thankful that I was a part of your life!!!

You will be missed.

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