Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I will not give up...

Alright, so I have been going to weight watchers for about 12 weeks and I have been going to curves since the middle of January 2009. Now, I would have thought that I would have dropped enormous amounts of weight and yet I haven't.
I was at a loss as to why and really beating myself up over this. I was always thin until I struggled with an illness which put me on all kinds of weight gaining meds. It was killing me, not the meds but the shit that was going on in my brain.
I realized that this is an identity issue for me and I let this weight stuff make me who I am, that's a bunch of crap because we are who we are no matter what. Skinny, heavy, light skin, dark skin, long hair, short hair, man, woman, none of that matters, we are who we think we are and that's the bottom line.

I was given some wonderful information from a good friend of mine, she said that she was told by someone who lost alot of weight, all she did was face it and embrace it.
Wow, that seems so simple yet so complex.
All along I was telling myself, I am a good person, I am beautiful and I am skinny. But low and behold, that didn't change my pant size, not by much anyway.

Yes, it does matter what we tell ourselves, the stories we feed ourselves about how we look etc...
it's time to change that, I am changing my mind so that I can feel good about what I am doing on my path to me.
Each day I will do my best to be the best I can be and really, that is all I can do and yes, that is all you can do too.
So from now on, you and me are in this together, we will overcome any challenges, every crisis, each up and down we will conquer.
We can do this, we are in this for the long haul.
I had fixated on 120 pounds because that was what I weighed a few years ago and yet it wasn't getting much closer at all, so new plan and new day.
I weighed myself this morning and today's weight is 171.7.
I know what your thinkin, holy cow she put her weight here for the whole world to see, ya know what, that's okay cuz:
1. I am facing this, how; because I am in control of me.
2. I am taking responsibility for my weight.
3. I am embracing who I am and giving this to the universe and trusting that I can achieve my ideal weight and fitness goals.
4. My body is changing everyday.
5. I am getting stronger everyday.
6. I am healthier everyday.
7. I am letting go of my inner critic.
8. I am working with my body and my mind to help and guide me.

It's just a number on the scale, no big deal, don't worry about it anymore.
If I feel good, if you feel good then my/your body will catch up with your mind and YOU WILL have the body you want.
Soon, very soon this will be all gone, you will feel like it happened overnight!!!
I am in charge of me and you are in charge of you soooooooooooooooooo...
let's get moving, as much as you or I want to make an excuse to not exercise or eat right, or to hate ourselves any longer, it's not happening, we are taking back ourselves and giving way to a brand new us.
I am going for a walk today, what are you gonna do to give your body the exercise it deserves to live a long and happy life.
Oh yeah, you say you can't go walking cuz it's raining, STOP right there, I have already used that excuse a million times.
I'll get wet, my hair will look crappy, so you get alittle wet, people will see how fat I am, those are stories, excuses that we tell ourselves so we can continue to feel bad about ourselves, that's the old us, that is no longer a part of us.
Oh then the next one comes, then I have to do my hair all over again and reapply my make up, welllllllllllllllllllllll,
not so fast honey, skip the shower before you go out, yeppers, then you only have to do your hair once and apply your make up once, and that is after you get back from your walk in the rain.
Also, alittle tip I once learned about going out in the rain, take a damn umbrella, that sure can help out with the wetness you might encounter.

And, just so you know, you do not look crappy, it looks like you got wet, well, it's raining, that is what happens to you in the rain. So what, people will see you, you just might inspire them to get up and move and like who they are. The people we think give a shit about what we think they do, yea, they are most likely consumed with themselves just as we ONCE were.

Okay pretty people, let's get going on this, give yourself the gift of you and the love it deserves.
We will check in from time to time too so no slacking, no more excuses, ge up and move and feed your body the healthy food it needs to be alive.

Always remember, I love you, I always have and I always will, oh you thought I was only talking to you, but I am talking to me too, cuz sometimes, believe it or not I forget to tell me just how lucky I am and how much I am loved by the one person that will always take care of me and that person is me!!!

Have a faboo day and for the record, all your dreams will come true, (this time I am taking to us!!!)
XOXO
p.s. the journey has begun, let's make it a great day!!!
oh and
p. p. s. I am giving up my inner critic and so are you, no more judging yourself, no more fixing yourself, there is nothing wrong with you, you are not broken, you were a tad lost and now you are found.
Bye bye inner critic and good riddance!
Take care of yourself and be happy no matter what!!!

UPDATE: went for a walk and yes it was drizzling, not too bad, had the good 'ole umbrella but turned out I didn't really need it.
Did you move your body today?

No comments: