***the great giveaway***

Howdy peeps,

I have been thinking about all kinds of things lately, what to make, what to do, what to wear, where to go, etc..... you name it, i have been thinking about it.
Then it hit me, like a kabonk on the noggin.....

"hey Maryann, how about a giveaway, a great giveaway......... i thought hmmmmmmm, whats that about,
 and then the info came to me............ delivered with loving hands and a soft voice spoke to me......
"Maryann, give away your book, thats right, your latest creation "release your inner goddess", just plain ole give it away.

Okay, soooooooooooooooo how,
how shall i give it away............... on your blog sweet thing, thats what the voice whispered....... and in order for you to pick someone at random, ask them to comment on your blog,

okie dokie, I am cool with that, what should they comment about,the voice says.........., THEIR DREAMS!!!

(my thoughts) oh my gosh, this is juicy and full of yummy goodness.
Tell them to post about their dreams, put them out into the universe.
Ask them to comment here and tell the world what their dream is.... their dream life, what living their dream life would mean to them..........

alrighty, nuff said, time to get those dreams out into the wild.......

So thats it folks, if you want to be considered for "the great  giveaway" here is how you do it.

1. comment here telling us your dream
2. tell us how it would make you feel to live your dream life

then on March 7th, noon Eastern time I will choose a person at random and wooooooooohooooooooo, you will get a copy of my book, yippppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


get ready, get set, goooooooooooooooooooo.................

time to let go......................

Well we are all moved in to our new place, we are cleaning, painting, installing carpet and makin it all pretty and homey. Which leads me tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, time to let go of all the things that no longer serve me in my new place. Time to clear out items for unfinished projects, time to get rid of things that i was holding just in case. I can't do it anymore, tooooooo much stuff and it weighs me down soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo its time to say goodbye to craft supplies, papers, beads, books, movies, clothes etc............... out with the old and in with the new, or shall i say in with less, YES, that sounds goooooooooooooood, in with less, I am going with less is more!!!!!!

xoxo
love
M

My Luscious Life List

1. Make the damn list - Yipppppppppeeeeeeeeeeee DONE (its so woohoo ish when you can tick something off your list)
2. Create all kinds of art
3. Make a living from my creations.
4. Create a project that keeps on giving
5. Have a picnic at midnight.
6. Have my very own studio/sanctuary for creating goodies.
7. Be myself authentically all the time.
8. Design tshirts with my sayings and artwork and wear for all the world to see.
9. Sell my tshirts.
10. Keep adding to this list.
11. Check the list once a month to tick off the things I have completed.
12. Inspire others to live their greatest life.
13. Teach a class. (creativity and how to harness your inner artist)
14. Host a "release your inner goddess circle" (we share wisdom, stories etc...)
15. Hold a healing event.
16. Publish more books.
17. Travel to another country.
18. Vacation with my family.
19. Make yoga a part of my daily life.
20. Create a deck of inspirational cards.
21. Make a set of tarot/oracle cards.
22. Get my implants out.
23. Get a juicer.
24. Do the things on my life list in no particular order.
25. Get webcam or a laptop with a webcam.
26. Make video blogs.
27. Continue creating my Goddess Business Empire.
28. Always listen to what my body needs.
29. Feed my body radiant raw food.
30. Drink lots of nourishing water.
31. Never compare my life list or myself to others.
32. Know that during "burnout" it soon shall pass.
33. Create and sell my own set of super duper bubbly buttons.
34. Make a glorious wish for a stranger. DONE, thank you Sandra Magenta
35. Make love under the stars with my super hunky hubby.
36. Make wishing candles. (kinda like birthday cake candles, whenever you want to make a wish, you light it, make your wish and blow it out)
37. Let go of fear.
38. Take a healing crystal course with Hisbiscus Moon (aka Stephanie Moon from Goddess Circle)
39. Connect with more Goddesses from Goddess Circle
40. Get a pair of vibram fivefingers barefoot shoes
41. Send a design to Portland Pins
42. Make all my dreams come true.
43. Be a non smoker
44. Never be afraid to be me
45. Sponsor a charity event.
46. Host a giveaway.
47. Let go of guilt when I want to change the things on my life list. (working on this)
48. Support and encourage my husband when he runs for Mayor (okay so maybe this is a little wish boost for my hunky hubby)
49. Make $100,000.00 in 2012 from my creations
50. Be proud of me for getting halfway through my life list - DONE - Woohoo, I can tick this one off my list, Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
51. I am assuming my life list only has 100 things, hmmmmmmmmm, make life list longer (I can still leave the above one ticked off cuz the moment came before I knew my list would be longer, heheheeee)
52. Treat myself like a queen.
53. Create "make your dreams come true" ecourse
54. Host a blog giveaway with my goodies and goodies from other gorgeous goddesses
55. Drink a shot of wheatgrass.
56. Step inside a bookstore that sells rare and old books and buy a book.
57. Stop worrying about the period at the end of these sentences, seriously who gives a hoot, not me hahahahaha
58. Ask for help
59. Get more tattoo's
60. Wear something long, flowy, sparkley and see through ooooooooooo lala
61. Forgive myself and others no matter what
62. Make something all zenish and meditatey
63 One weekend a month have "who gives a fuck lets sit in nothingness and do whatever the hell we want" or quite possibly do that a little bit each day (for sanity purposes of course, hehehehehehe)
64. Write, blog, post about sex (more on that later)
65. Make a daily planner and offer it as a download to others
66. stop fussing and second guessing over the things i want to put on my list, its my list, its all good
67. Read "the red tent"
68. Make snow friends in the summer
69. exercise more
70. do the "reboot your life" challenge
71. have a "meeting" in a cafe about life
72. Make a vegan version of green goddess dressing
73. Make a vegan dessert
74. Get a spiral binding machine
75. Collect trinkets for 30 days and turn them into an art journal ( i did do this years ago but its something i want to do again)
76. Read the four agreements again
77. make a gratitude journal
78. Market "Messages from the heart" for the relay for life fundraiser
79. Pick one day every month to have a celebration with my family just because
80. get a pair of moccasins
81. make "its gonna be okay, its all gonna workout" talking device (when you press the button those words will be spoken)
82. Actually do the courses I sign up to take
83. Share this list on zeeeeeeee web right now. Doing, doing............ DONE!!! Yay!!!!!
84. Make the "permission project" a reality and offer it as an ecourse download. (working on this, yeeehaw)
85. Take a break from writing my life list (I can add to it whenever I want) Yeeeeeeeeehaw DONE
86. learn about life coaching
87. become a creativity coach (help women find their gifts and talents)
88. stop, take a breath in and release it out, relax, refresh and renew
89. finish my nutrition certification
90. get a dehydrator
91. reread my book "release your inner goddess"
92. hang up motivational and inspirational quotes
93. clear out the clutter
94. remember to smile (everything will always be ok)
95. get a head and foot board for our bed
96. turn passion into profit
97. Write a love letter to myself
98. Remember to be gentle on myself
99. watch the movie "I AM"
100. be proud of myself for the little things I do and the big things (there is good in all my accomplishments)
101. turn my life lessons into works of art to help those that seek out my guidance and support
102. earn a living doing what I love and making this a reality in 2012
103. find out what it is I really really really want
104. ask the question "what does this mean" when I think about things I want so I can turn them into actionable steps to take immediately
105. pay my bills on time
106. save money for our retirement
107. get a new car
108. help my hunky hubby get a harley
109.practice qigong at least once a week (practice of aligning breath, movement, and awareness for exercise, healing, and meditation)
110. take another class at "The Gentle Spirit"
111. Make a gratitude journal
112. live in the moment
113. Revamp my soap business
115. Soapmaking classes (where, how, when and cost)
115. create an online magazine
116. start a weekly creative group (books, inspiration, money making, healing, wisdom etc.)

give yourself...................

what you need today.
What is it your body, mind and soul is asking you to for?
Allow it, give yourself what you need today!!!!

xoxo
M

my new book is ready to order................

Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! "Release your Inner Goddess" is ready to order through amazon.com. I am super excited and thoroughly enjoyed writing this book. If you are called to this book, I hope it brings you whatever it is you need my dear!!!!

until next time faboo friends.
love and light
xoxo
Goddess M

fear, the deadliest poison.....

i know it can't hurt me, i know its not real, so why am i afraid?
i know without a shadow of a doubt that we must learn from our mistakes, we must fail sometimes before we succeed.
i know i am the key to my success.

knowing all this and yet fear, the deadly poison creeps its way in, finds a tiny hole and lays its egg somewhere deep within my mind.
it incubates and festers, grows and builds upon itself waiting, waiting for just the right moment to hatch.
once it hatches, liquid spills out saturating my brain, covering it with lack, cant's and have not's, worthlessness, scarcity, judgments, harsh comments, messages from my inner critic telling me i am not good enough.

fear is the poison that slowly eats away at our soul, spreading toxin as it feeds on our weakness, but we do not need weakness, we do not need to feed the fear.
we can stop it, we can stop it dead in its tracks.
knowing this, why does it find its way in, fear is persistent, it wants to hold on, it will hang on tightly with its last breath unless WE are ready and willing to get rid of it.
I want the freedom of feeling fearless, how does one achieve this feeling, how does one go about their day without fear of the unknown?
its a learned behavior, its repeating thoughts and words that comfort you, that lift your spirits, that raise your vibration so you can believe in you, believe in your power, know that you are good enough, know that you have whatever it takes to live your dream life.
give in to your goodness, allow yourself permission to be released from fear.
only you can make this happen, no one can do this for you, absolutely no one can remove your fear, its up to you to cast it out of your mind.

writing is my salvation, it is what keeps me sane, what makes me feel whole, complete and alive.
don't get me wrong, my husband, my children, they are my life, they provide me with everything i could ever want, i love them with every ounce of my soul.

but writing, writing makes my stories, (true or not) come to life, it gives them purpose and feeling, it makes me feel good to let the words out, otherwise i go crazy with all the words jumping around in my head, bouncing back and forth, interrupting each other and before you know it, its as if it must be done, i have to write, if i don't, i see pictures in my mind of me poking the side of my head just to let some info out, i can feel my head swelling with so many thoughts and they have to come out, i can't think straight if they stay in, i can't feel good, i can't accomplish anything on my to do list, its a driving force that says honey, if you don't write, you are screwed, your day will be a mess, you will feel guilty for not following your heart, you will feel shame for doing things that do not serve you, you will feel sad for silencing your inner goddess.


with that i say, okie dokie pokey, write i will do, i want to feel happy.

so where does this fear come from, why was i given this feeling when i was a young child, why do we pass this on to our children, what makes us think its okay to push our fears onto those we love?
we do not have that right, we do not have permission to teach fear to others, its serves no one, no one benefits from fear.
i am not at all saying do not be cautious, by all means baby, use caution, but its different.
for example, i am afraid of driving, not all the time, but there are times when it wants me to be afraid to drive.
if i allow this fear to win, then i go nowhere without someone else driving.
it starts out like this:
i do not want to drive, what happens if i get into an accident, what happens if i get lost, what happens if i do not get in the right lane, what happens if the car breaks down?
okay, thats it in a nutshell.
lets answer those questions,
if i know the road rules, if i follow the road rules, thats all i can do, that doesn't mean someone else wont follow the road rules, it just means i will, therefor i may or may not get into an accident but thinking i might just may be the ticket to keeping me from driving, and how fair is that, is it fair of me to rob myself the freedom of getting in a car and going somewhere, nope, its not.

Fear gets in our way and holds us back. We can't allow this to keep us from living our souls purpose its time my friends to take our power back!!!!!!
Positive thoughts, affirmations, writing, creating art, meditating, therapy, counseling, whatever it takes deary to get rid of fear is what needs to be done, we want to live our life to the fullest!!!  CHECK BACK later for ecourses and more on how to "get rid of fear and keep it out"

believe them the first time..................

holy holy macaroni,

believe them, without doubt, without judgment, without hoping, thinking just maybe, or what if they just might, nopers, believe them, believe them the first time.

Good or bad, it makes no difference, people are who they are, thats it, bottom line, they decide whats right for them, whats wrong for them and how they see the world so when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time, then there is no worries about it, such as:
are ya kidding me, ya did this again, yeah, they did, and they let you know in the past they would and they are letting you know that in the future, they are who they are and will do it again!

I know there are some who will read this and get angry, it happens, my intention for writing this is to clear the air for me and to gain clarity into this situation so that I KNOW it happens, its okay, I can move on from here, and if in the future you encounter someone who has already shown you who they are, accept them without judgment.

good morning, good morning, good morning

Well hello there happy humans~
Today I am making a list of things I want.

I want a,
button/badge maker
spiral binding machine
silverware
queen size sheets
full size sheets
twin size sheets
pants/jeans
sweaters
ink for my printer
and for now I think thats it.
how about you my dear, what do you want on this fine morning, please do tell, set your intention for the day and ask for the things you want, remember to believe you deserve these things and they will show up right before your eyes!!!
Happy manifesting!!!

until next time happy humans,
tootles,
xoxo
love
M

finally i got it...............

now you can enter your email to get a new blog post every time i update my blog, woooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo!!!

how cool is this..........

bullshit

this is total total total total total total total total total total total total BULLSHIT! what the freaken ravioli is going on?????????????????????????? its like my mind says whoa baby, ain't gonna cooperate with you today honey! okay, i get it, sometimes you need a break but c'mon, this is the 4th time this week you are doing this, what are you doing this for, you know there is stuff that needs to come out, so what do you want me to do, dishes, vacuum, dust, laundry, cook, walk, drink, sleep, ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, HELLO, i wanna write dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and do remember this

its an epic day my friends, did you set your intention on this magical happy day?
my intention is this.......................
i am ready to receive my glorious gifts of abundance and prosperity, much happiness, good health and good fortune, clarity and wisdom.

its your turn darling.......................

xoxo
M

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............................................

i wonder......................... what is it?

i found this super website, you must check it out

here it is I mean really, its faboo, Its called "The receiving project" i mean who knew eh? She summed it all up and presented it in this loving wonderful way!!!
If you want to receive glorious gifts from the universe and you are ready to receive, holy shasta, check her out, its FREE, yeah, I know, I could hardly believe it myself, it flippin FREE, go take a look, seriously, I am super excited about doing this and perhaps you too will find that its just what you need and as i always say, if its not what you need, no problemo, its all gooooooooooooood!

It is my intention to receive gifts of kindness from the Universe.
(lookout baby, they are rollin in), hey, who said that, was it you, ohhhhhhhhh, wait, silly me, that was the Universe talking to me, ooooooooooolala, here come the gifts, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

love ya,
xoxo
M (who got alittle carried way with the links to her site, lol)

fear, the deadliest poison.....

i know it can't hurt me, i know its not real, so why am i afraid?
well, well, well, its because its a learned behavior.fear is taught to us, like the alphabet, math, spelling etc...
we are taught so many things by our parents, grandparents, caregivers, friends, relatives, teachers, everyone, we learn from everyone we see.
whether in person, the internet, tv, radio, we learn from it. which means that we are teachers whether we like it or not, everyday we are leading and teaching by example.

so why not live your best life, give yourself the love, kindness and compassion that you would want others to give you, give it to yourself,.
sure its nice to help people, but its nice to help ourselves, after all, if we don't take care of ourselves, we won't be around to help anyone anyway.
so to that i say, drink up, grab your glass of water, juice, your cuppa tea, (not so much coffee, wine or beer, lets try to be a weeee bit healthy)
and cheers my darling, cheers to you for taking care of you and cheers to me for taking care of me.
and remember, fear is only in our minds, its not real, if we let it in, we poison ourselves with deadly toxins that keep us from living the life of our dreams, no flippin way do I want to give up on me dreams, how about you, i didn't think so, we are not giving up, we are not giving in to fear.
its outta here, bye bye fear, you can't hold me back anymore!!!!

love you buttercup,
xoxo
M

My epic wish for 11/11/11 at 11:11 is for abundance & prosperity for me & my family. That we all live to our 90's & good health, much wealth & wisdom.

as i reach for the golden rod.....

my inuition never lets me down, is always there to guide me, to provide me with answers I need and then every once in awhile it tells me to do something and whammo bammo, I haven't a clue as to why, just this nudge,and if I don't do what it asks, i get a push, and if I still do not do what I am asked to do by my lovely inner goddess venus, she flippin shoves me, a freaken full on total shove and says, hey woman, yep, I am talkin to you, lets get a move on, life is a waiting and its ain't gonna wait forever, ya gotta grab it while the grabbin is good and just do this that i ask, soooooooooooooooooooo i must, ya see if i don't, who knows, she might conk me on the head or make me take a cold shower to wake me up, i don't know, but i do know this, i don't wanna find out what she would do if i don't take the nudge then the push and now the shove seriously.

honestly i have no idea where this is going, why i was supposed to write as i reach for the golden rod, no clue, nada, zippo, nothin, but here goes it......................

as i reach for the golden rod, my heart open, my soul ready, my mind accepting and my body willing, I am ready to receive that which you offer me.....

wow, my inner goddess is good, that sounds really profound, guess she know what she is talkin about, alright, i was just told not to interrupt her, she needs to finish this......

i ask you milady to hold out your hand, to give to thee your time, your energy and your love.
i ask you to give of yourself that which you may know nothing of.
do you want this sweet darling, do you want to be given the gift?
are you aware that i may ask you to trust in me like never before, that i may ask you to do things that you may fear?
share with others your stories of hope, sadness and more.
will you do this without question, without judgement and without knowing how this will happen?

i take your hand and offer you my heart and soul, surrender to you my wisdom and blanket you with kindness.
i ask that you follow me, walk with me, laugh with me and cry with me, i ask that you do this so you can see without your eyes, but to see with your heart and fill your being with true love..............
(i meaning me not my inner goddess don't even know if that makes any sense but i am told its not up to me to make sense of it, just do it, well, whatever, it makes my life easier if she is doing the writing anyway, less i gotta think about, so more time for playin, at least for today, some days I like to do the writing but hey, sharing is a good thing)

i guess miss goddess venus is done, personally i am drawing a blank which means thats it, i'm yawning sooooooooo until she wants to speak again my dear, i gotta go find somehting else to do, toooooooooooooooooooot a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
xoxo
M

I am woman, hear me raw............................

I know, you thought it would say I am woman, hear me roar, nopers, its raw.
Why, because my writing is from my womanly perspective and its raw, straight from my core, no holds barred. No cleaning it up, no sugar coating it, its my words how they run through my mind and flow onto paper.

The only way I feel free is to let it out, how I feel, what I see, how it affects me, how it changes me, makes me grow, learning from it, all the juicy good stuff that makes me who I am. If you like it, good, if you don't, thats good too, we don't all want to agree, that would be quite boring.

Most of all, my writing helps me, and my hope is that it helps you too, whatever it is you need from it, whether it be to read it and find your own path or the meaning of something, etc.... but maybe it will help you by saying, no way, I am outta here, where is the delete key, its all good because if you need it or don't need it then my mission is complete, it helped you in some way.
Whether you sit back and enjoy this blog or run for the hills to find something else, its all good darling!

So what do we talk about now, whats on my mind?

One thing that is on my mind today is....................
Whats on your mind honey?
What are doing today?
What makes you tick?
What makes you come alive and light your fire?

Oh please do tell, share with me your hopes and dreams, your goals and desires, tell me so I can enjoy your words, thoughts, prayers etc.......... I want to read all about your beautiful gorgeous life, your succulent stories of excitement and joy, oh the suspense my dear is killing me, please do tell.................................

While I am waiting for you to spill your sexy words onto my virtual paper, I will continue writing for me.................

and there she sat, across the room, waiting, wanting, imagining what may happen when she sees it, when she feels it, when she tastes it as it brushes across her lips, when it pulses through her body, when her bones are rich with desire for the very essence of his soul...... (wow, that seems a bit racy, lol)
(oh well, I am going with it)

she wants him, she wants him like no other, to taste him, to feel his body against hers and to know that he wants her too, it is what she ached for, the longing for him to hold and caress her is over.

he is next to her, her flesh against his, their heart's beating as one, the scent of their essence as it fills the air and transforms the moment into heated passion.

the sweat that drips from their naked bodies, their mouths open wanting to kiss.
but the kissing stops, something happens as the moments pass and everything is heightened, the sensitivity becomes so intense and she wants it, she hungers for it like never before, its euphoric, the bliss that enters her mind as she imagines what she may do next.......
and then it happens, she grabs his head, slowly turns to expose his neck and without another thought, she bites, his body in a frenzy as he moans and gives her that which she ached for, that which she craved for so long, she drinks, it pulsates and throbs as it fills her soul, she feasts upon his being as it satisfies her hunger, he claws her back, she pulls her head back to let out a groan, a groan so deep from within its as if she felt ecstasy flow through her veins.

so, thats what was just running through my mind, and that my friend is how a vampire does it, just like that!

so sometimes I write about things I experience, other times I write what others may call fiction, but is it, is it fiction, perhaps it is, perhaps it isn't, maybe just maybe in my past life I was a vampire, or maybe I just like to think so or maybe, just maybe its my imagination and all in my head. I may never know whether the above story is true or not.................................

i found it......................

I found the reason for all this ick and muck!!!!!!!!! Pain, pain is what makes it possible for me to write, to take my pain or the pain I see in others and transform into my words, words that I can spill out onto the pages of my journals, the stories I write, the words that seem to fly out of my head and onto the computer screen. Pain is a necessary part of life, we can choose happiness, but pain, it happens whether we want it too or not. Doesn't mean we can find ways of dealing with it so we feel better, it just means it happens, people get sick, hurt, die, leave and what we do with that pain is up to us. For me, writing about it helps, telling others how I feel about it, or just putting it down and feeling those feelings while getting it out of my head. I am just not able to store all that up and walk about trying to get on with my days, it won't happen, for me it needs to come out.

This is not to say that I don't write about happy moments, I do, all the time, but the pain I have felt or experienced in some way allows me to transform my words into something richer, deeper and with passion. Out of this I have the desire to help others find their calling, share with them that they too have a light that burns brightly within themselves and they too have the right to claim it, stand tall, be yourself, allow yourself permission to be free from whatever is holding you back.

We all do our best, regardless of what it may look like to you, to me and anyone else that may cast judgement, if we thought it was wrong, we would do something else, which leads me to justification...................

Justification, is it really better than sex?
Well, my answer to that is...............................

Think about it, you do something you know is wrong, you know it isn't beneficial to you, to your family, friends etc.... but you do it anyway, you find a way to make yourself feel ok with that choice, you justify it, like it's going to change it or something, as if its going to change in your mind that it actually is ok, it isn't, you are not fooling yourself or anyone else.
It's an excuse you declare to say, "Hey, I am doing this knowing I shouldn't be but its all good, I have the right because I deserve XYZ" Bullshit, its total bullshit, you do not have any special rights to go against your own belief system, seriously, you are trying with all your power to convince yourself of a bullshit story, it ain't happening baby, it ain't, you won't believe it now, you won't believe it later.

It seeps into your core, lays its poison and harbors there, as the minutes, hours and days of your life go by, the poison grows, the hole it creates in you becomes a bigger more toxic mass than you know and it will not stop, it will not stop growing until you take responsibility and say........
WHOA, thats enough, I can not, I will not stand for this any longer, I am who I am, I have the power to be me and the very best me I can be, I will be free of my own judgements, I am setting myself free of the lies I have told myself in order to think I am getting through this or past this.
Enough already, I did it, it happened, its done, I am healing and I am free!!!

Lets look for those lovely little examples. Someone says something to me that I believe is offensive so I begin to tell myself this story....
Who are they to tell me I am an ass, I mean really, who the hell do they think they are, they don't know me, they  haven't lived my life, ya know what, fuck them, they can kiss my ass.

Alright, story in my head is complete, so I say to this person who I believe wronged me and say,
"Screw you, you can go pound sand and if you ever talk to me like that again, you will be sorry"
Wow, talk about angry right?
I go on about my day and yet this lingers inside, it festers while I think about what this person said to me, all day, it consumes me about how I am NOT what they said I was.
Well, whatever someone calls you, tells you who or what they think you are, there ain't no proving them wrong honey, they formed their belief and they will tell you that you are whatever they think you are, they will try to prove to you that you are an ass, idiot, piss ant etc... and YOU will fight them on this, trying with all your might to prove them wrong, and guess what, while fighting them all you are doing is validating to them just how much of an ass you really are.

Now, where did that get you, absolutely nowhere,  not anywhere forward anyway, a bit back it gets you because you now react and respond to people from a place of anger, hurt and sadness.

Perhaps the person that confronted you just came from a place where they were abused, afraid to tell someone that their home is an unsafe place to be and they do not know how to escape the abuse? Would you then respond in the same manner, most of us I believe would say no. Most of us would then feel bad for that person and want to help.
So why is it if we do not know the person's circumstance that we can justify reacting and responding negatively, that is just plain ole shitty!

Let's try this too, what if we do know, we do know that this person lives in an abusive home.
We then choose, "well ya know what, thats just too bad, its their own fault if they stay there, just because someone treats them badly doesn't mean they have the right to treat others badly?"

Wow, do you see this, we are thinking no matter what  that person endured it does not give them the right to rain on our parade, ok, lets say thats true BUT then what gives us the right, what gives us the right to turn around (after being angry with this person) and saying, "screw you" did we not just rain on their parade, ummmmm, I think we did honey, we did.
So even though we tell ourselves that they do no not have a right to shit on us, we go right back and shit on them, we just became the very thing we complained about, holy cow eh?

If we want better, we must do better, if we want to feel good, we must feel good, if we want others to be kind to us, we must be kind to them, if we want to be loved, we must love ourselves first.

Lets try this on for size, what about unhealthy food, ya know how we tell ourselves I am hungry, I don't have time to cook, I deserve it fast food, its cheap etc.....
What are we really saying to our self, that we deserve to eat crappy food at any cost???
We actually take the time to give ourselves a reason as to why we should treat our bodies as though they are disposable, as if we have an extra body laying around and can just put that one on when we destroy the one we are in???
NO! We deserve to give our bodies the proper fuel, the proper nutrition so that it can work in harmony with our mind, that is what our body deserves, to be loved and treated with kindness.

How about these, wasting money on things we do not need or we just wanted in that moment, what happens then when we run short for our bills, our kids school clothes, medicines to fix the bodies that we fed unhealthy food too?
 We justify that too, we worked hard, we deserve it, we made extra money, talk about a bullshit lie, extra money, who the fuck has extra money, I don't care how much money you make, how much money is in your bank account, NO ONE absolutely NO ONE has any extra money lieing around, we use it all up.
Our extra money just gave us a reason to spend it on something we did not need and now we have more junk and less money.

What about booze, how we tell ourselves we deserve that booze because we worked long and hard, many hours, now we are tired and just need to relax, go relax, you need 6 damn beers, 4 glasses of wine, NOPE, you just THINK you do. What your body is telling you is....
"honey, we worked hard today, lets go home, sit on the couch, reflect on our day and be thankful we are here one more day to live our truth" at least that is what I BELIEVE our bodies are saying.,
It does not NOW or EVER tell us to go home, drink, eat and smoke and ingest poison so we can feel like shit later, kill ourselves slowly and wake up feeling ungrateful and angry.

What about this, BLAME, oh this has to be the very best one, I mean really, we blame everything on everyone else, talk about fucked up???
It's your fault I am broke, its your fault I am fat, its your fault I don't have a good job, its your fault my life sucks, blah blah blah.
Its not anyone's fault, you are in this position because of YOUR choices, every single one of your choices put you here.
Sure, you may be in a toxic relationship, ready to file bankruptcy, overweight, but YOU made the choices to continue on that path, I mean unless someone was holding you hostage, held you down and made you eat, drink, spend your money or stay where you are, its your choice.
Its not to say I don't have compassion for those that are in a place where they are not happy, I do, oh my goodness I do. I say this because I WANT YOU to know that YOU can make a conscious choice to GET OUT of this unhappy, unhealthy feeling that keeps you down. YOU can change all this, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL!!! You deserve just as much as the next guy/gal, you deserve it all too honey!!!

You can claim it, right now, you can take back your power and find peace within yourself, no matter what your circumstance, no matter what your life experience, no matter what you did, said, ate, drank, smoked or believed. You can have it all baby, all of it is here for you, for you, and you, and you and you and you. The world is full and plenty, abundance, prosperity, good fortune, love, happiness, its here now and its ready for you to call it your own.
No reason to be angry or sad about your choices that got you here, its what makes you beautiful, forgive yourself, forgive others, set yourself free and set those free that you have held judgements against, it really is okay to let it go and find your passion, live your life to the fullest and live life knowing that you are a MIRACLE!

We justify everything, whether we think its good, bad whatever. Just like this post, (which makes me drive in circles, not the post but the whole justification thing lol)
You can tell me I am right or wrong, it doesn't matter, I will tell you why I think I am right, why I know it is this way. It don't matter honey, I'll justify it so that it sits and feels right in my mind.
Just as you will justify why you agree or disagree with me, and its what makes us human, justification is part of our DNA. My thought is this, I want to feel good within my very core, deep within my soul, in every cell of my being therefor I will use justification for good, to tell myself why I believe I am worthy, why I believe I am the key to my success, why I know that we all matter, that we all deserve love and kindness, why I know that a few kind words can make someone's day a little brighter and how I know that a few unkind words can hurt someone deeply and spread negativity like wildfire.

So in then end my dear, justification, is it really better than sex?        ...................... you decide

jus·ti·fy

1.  to show (an act, claim, statement, etc.) to be just or right:

a. to show a satisfactory reason or excuse for something done.

xoxo
M

day 2 of swearing and not knowing what to write

DAMMIT, thats it, that is what comes to mind, Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm Venus honey, where are you, you are supposed to be helping me write ya know?

What the hexagon is going on? I don't know what to say, I am hearing nothing and I know, dammit, I know there is things I need to get out of my head.

Its like I got this: little boy walks in the woods, trips and falls in a hole, yells for mama, she comes and saves him, yahooooo, everything works out fantastic.
Okay, next story, little girl makes a mud pie, bakes it in the sun, turns out its not as tasty as she thought, no big deal, she finds something else to do.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! where the hell are the words???????????????

Well, screw you and fuck off fucken piss ants, thats about how I feel right now, I wanna write but I am not getting anything that seems to be making any sense, well unless this jibber jabber makes sense, who knows, maybe it does.

I gotta find some inspiration to spark something here, its driving me batty.............................

it seems the cursing does not want to stop

fuckers, fuckers, fuckers, bwah hahahahahaha
I am feelin a bit out of whack still, its been going on since this morning, eeeeeeeeeeeee gads, fooey and cowabunga, its all good, I know this, but for some reason, inner guide, says, fuckers like a thousand times today. yeah, shit and damn, and prick also come to mind, so thats it folks, I am naming my inner guide, hmmmmmmmmm, what shall her name be: Venus, its what my mother was going to name me so hey, it fits.
So from now on, most of what I write, well it will be the words and wisdom from Venus!!!


Yay, now I gotta get me a cup of joe, later baby.
xoxo
M

you are being warned, post may contain profanity and plain 'ole ickiness....

Hot Damn, its one of those days where I am feeling like I need to get it out, get the lead out, ya know. HOLY SHIT. I don't know where it comes from sometimes but its there and the only thing I can do is get it out, out of my head and onto paper, well, cyber space paper.
I must, I must, I must, I must, dammit, I must write it, I need it out and I need it out now.
I don't like feeling angry, guilt or shame in anyway, it drags me down and I don't have time in my life for feelings that keep me stuck and the only way I know how to deal with them is by writing.
If you are offend then I ask you to please exit this page now. I have some built up emotions that seem to require swearing so if you choose to stick around, know this, it will be full of words that you may not want to read.

Ok guys and gals, here it goes.

Fuckity, fuckity fuckity, (ahhhhhhh, I am feeling a weeeeeeeee bit better) Shit, fiddlesticks, donkey's balls and fucken fuckers.
Why is this in here, why do I have to write this, why I ask, why, dammit Maryann, stop asking and doooooooooooooooooo, you have to get out the muck in there in order to see the beauty, don't stop this until you can feel happy, glad, wonderful and thrilled, ya got it!!
Yeah, yeah yeah, I got it, did  you ever think that maybe, just maybe if you spoke a little nicer, you could get more things accomplished with your life?
Ya know, like asking yourself in kind ways, asking yourself to be gentle, why all the yelling, why all the insisting and sarcastic tones?
Well, its what your used to and well frankly, if YOU, Maryann want it differently, change it, thats right, change your inner voice and the words will come out nicer.

What do you want, do you want this or not? How bad Maryann, how bad do you want to live the life of your dreams, so bad that you know in your being that it will serve you and allow you to live your truth, SO bad that your heart pulls and tugs at every ounce of your dreams?
Do you want it so bad that nothing, I mean nothing will stand in your way?

You have to answer these questions Maryann, you have to put the pen to the paper when asking these questions and you must gal, you must write those answers, truthfully, do not hold back, DO NOT HOLD BACK, give yourself permission, its all good, you know that, you know that this is the way it is supposed to be, do what you KNOW Maryann, do what you know will get you closer to living your dream life.
You are half way there, you already know what to do, if you want it, if you want it so much that you can taste it, that you can feel it in your bones, the cells in your body light up when you think about your dream life, your heart fills with gladness when you dream about your way of life that makes you come alive, when your blood pumps through your body, mind and soul, so pure and fresh that you KNOW this is it, this is exactly what you want.

When you can do this, feel it, really feel it, enjoy those feelings now, NOW, this way, when your haven arrives, you will know without a doubt thats this is it gal, this is your haven, the place you shall call home!!!

So sometimes its just that simple, write about your feelings even if they are angry, sad or whatever they are, there is no reason to harbor these inside.  I just don't always know why I have these feelings but my intuition says write about it, its not for me to judge, to criticize or anything, it just is and you need to write it so you can take back your power.
Thats what I hear, so most days all is super duper, and sometimes, its just okie dokie, on those days my writing is a bit different than on the days I am feeling faboo, its life, I gotta listen to my inner guide.

It just has to be this way, and no way, no how could I dream this up on my own, lol if it were up to me, than I might not put this info out there for the world to see, I might not want to give others the opportunity to read it, make comments on it, judge it etc.... but its not, my inner guide says it doesn't really matter what others think, if they like it great, if they don't, thats great too.
Its what makes the world go round gal, so no worries, it is what it is.

Oh beautiful haven , come out come out wherever you are. I am ready to receive...........................


until next time my happy humans,
tottles,
xoxo
M

And with that i say..... Bloom where you are planted. xoxo

Out of the muck grow a beautiful lotus....

I was wondering why I might be feeling a little funky. I figured it out, its all good! <3 xoxo M